[Generated Title]: Waymo's Freeway Expansion: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Robot Apocalypse
So, Waymo's finally letting its robotaxis loose on the freeways. Big deal. They're patting themselves on the back for expanding to freeways in LA, the Bay Area, and Phoenix, like they've just invented sliced bread. Call me when they can navigate the 405 during rush hour without causing a 20-car pileup. I'll hold my breath.
The "Safety" Song and Dance
Dmitri Dolgov is "excited to start bringing freeways to riders," blah, blah, blah. He's also "emphasizing the focus on system safety and reliability." Translation: "We think we've ironed out most of the bugs, but if your Waymo decides to play bumper cars at 70 mph, don't come crying to us."
Seriously, "system safety"? It's a car, dude. On a freeway. With other cars driven by humans. Has Waymo considered that variable? Humans are unpredictable, emotional, and often terrible drivers. Robots are...robots. Programmed responses. Algorithms versus road rage. My money's on road rage winning that fight.
And don't even get me started on the whole "millions of miles of driverless trips" statistic. Millions of miles in carefully mapped-out, geofenced areas with ideal conditions. Try throwing a surprise rainstorm, a rogue pothole the size of a small car, or a flock of pigeons into the equation. Then we'll see how "safe" your system really is.
But hey, at least you can get curbside pickup at San José Mineta International Airport now. That is, if you trust a soulless machine to not drop you off in the wrong terminal or, even better, the middle of the runway.
The Race to Nowhere
Waymo's been doing this driverless thing since, what, 2009? That's like, a century in tech years. They rebranded from the Google Self-Driving Car Project to Waymo in 2016. And launched Waymo One in 2020. All that time, all that money, and we're just now getting freeway access? Waymo taxis are coming to Los Angeles and Bay Area freeways - Los Angeles Times. Meanwhile, Tesla's over there promising robotaxis to the same airport. It's a race, offcourse, but who's really winning?
Zoox, Tesla, Waymo... it's a three-horse race to see who can unleash the robot apocalypse first. They're all tripping over themselves to put more autonomous cars on the road. But are we even ready for this? Are our roads? Are our brains? I'm not convinced.
And Waymo expanding to Miami and D.C. soon? Great. More places for these metal boxes to get confused by tourists and jaywalkers.
The Inevitable "But..."
Look, maybe I'm being too harsh. Maybe this is the future. Maybe I'm just a grumpy old man yelling at clouds (or, you know, self-driving cars). Maybe Waymo's freeways will be perfectly safe and efficient and usher in a new era of transportation.
But... I still ain't trusting a computer to drive me anywhere. Especially not on the freeway. Give me a human driver—flaws and all—any day of the week. At least I can yell at them when they screw up.
So, What's the Real Problem Here?
It's not about the technology. It's about the trust. And honestly, tech companies have burned through so much of that lately, I ain't sure they can ever earn it back. Waymo can promise all the "safety" and "reliability" they want, but until I see these things handle real-world chaos without causing a pileup, I'm sticking with human drivers. And maybe a good stiff drink for the ride.